Counterpoint
by CrushedSummer
Summary: Sometimes words fail. Fortunately, the members of μ's can understand eachother's songs.
1. Bile

**A/N: This two-shot was inspired by season two, episode 13. During the graduation ceremony Honoka says that the members of** **μ's can communicate through song, even when words fail them. That gave me the idea for a series in which pivotal developments revolve around one character overhearing another singing.**

* * *

 _"My time is basically over, but I'll support you in your dream to become an idol."_

* * *

They pushed Hanayo forward, and just like that, she was a member of μ's.

"And what about you two?"

Maki knew she shouldn't have expected them to have given up on her.

Did she want to join?

Of course she did. A significant part of her was screaming at the rest to just step forward and do it. Sure, she wasn't partial to silly pop songs and idol phenomena, but the thought of perhaps building a _real_ circle of friends filled her chest with warmth, not that she would ever say that aloud. And even if she wasn't partial to theirs, music was still her passion.

"Sorry, but I still can't."

Which was exactly why she had to stay away.

* * *

She found herself in the music room practicing her Thelonious Monk impersonation again, and again telling herself that this would be the last time.

Writing that song for them had been a serious mistake. She had to whip herself into shape, no more moments of weakness.

Her father had her best interests at heart when he advised her to give up music, he truly had. Maki was going to be taking over the Nishikino Hospital, and when that time came, she wouldn't have the time for music. She had seen it herself, with how busy her parents were. It was simply less painful to wean herself off of it now; for that reason, she couldn't get involved with μ's. If music was both her passion and her bond with her friends, she didn't know if she would be able to bring herself to give it up.

But surely it would be worth it. Her parents were doing good work, right?

An errant note broke her momentum, and she abruptly ended the increasingly moody improvisation session. Closing the fallboard, she stood just in time to see a head of brown hair scurrying away from the window.

This was definitely the final time she would play.

* * *

μ's was reworking their choreography to account for their new members, trying not to think too hard about the impending problem.

Except for Umi.

"We're going to be hard-pressed to continue if we don't have any new songs being written."

Honoka froze mid-routine, looking for all the world like a child caught sneaking a peek at the proverbial Christmas presents.

"I really thought Maki was gonna join back there!"

"But she didn't, so what are we going to do?" Umi was as firm as ever.

Honoka scratched her head and narrowed her eyes, "Well, she liked us enough to write Start:Dash to begin with..."

She trailed off and Hanayo, unusually, piped up, "And, um, she seemed pretty fond of the idea of performing music when she was helping me."

"So there's gotta be something else holding her back!" Honoka announced.

"That seems...plausible," Umi agreed, "But don't just try to push her; if anything, that will probably make it worse."

"I've got an idea then," Honoka said, turning to the mousy girl at her side, "Hanayo, she's got a soft spot for you. You butter her up."

Hanayo sputtered and opened her mouth to say something about her lack of charisma. But then another sensation took over: one of determination; she had already taken the risk to join, and now she was going to see this group through to the end.

"I'll try my best!"

* * *

Maki's homeroom class, math, was winding down. Having covered the day's curriculum, their teacher was letting them work on their would-be homework until the period ended.

"Um, Maki, you understand all this stuff, right?"

The gentle voice of Hanayo roused her from her concentration.

Of course she understood. She was on the road to medical school, and she was making sure all her good work habits were ingrained well beforehand.

Maki simply nodded.

"W-well, could you maybe help me out a little bit then?"

She would have agreed out of politeness anyway, but Hanayo's puppy dog eyes made her a bit less reluctant to do so.

"What are you having trouble with?"

The brunette pulled up a chair, "It's the word problem at the end here."

The impromptu lesson went smoothly, so smoothly, in fact, that it nearly made Maki wonder if Hanayo was ever _really_ having problems. They were left with a few minutes to spare, and neither particularly felt it was worth it to go back to work on their own questions once more.

Now was the time for Hanayo to enact her plan.

"Maki..."

Maki stared blankly at her.

"I couldn't help but notice-"

" _No, that sounds weird!_ " She thought to herself.

"Um, I mean, you're a really talented piano player!"

To her dismay, her classmate immediately stiffened upon hearing that.

"No," said Maki, quickly putting her books away, "I'm just a hobbyist."

Sensing the situation crumbling, Hanayo tried not to panic as she sent out hook after hook, only to be shot down. All the while, Maki was hastily gathering her things and preparing to leave.

"W-well, you're still interested in music then, right?"

"That doesn't mean I have to pursue it."

"But you wrote that song for μ's already!"

"Consider that a favour; I'm usually not so generous."

"Um, don't you p-play almost every day in the music room, too?"

" **Not anymore**."

And with that, the Nishikino heiress whirled and walked out just in time for the bell to ring.

* * *

Sometimes Maki preferred to stay entirely away from jazz and classical while playing. The instrumentation became easier to manage, but singing while playing was an entirely different sort of challenge to indulge in.

But she shouldn't have been thinking about that. She shouldn't have even been in the music room again.

She was left stressed out for much of the day after her conversation with Hanayo, and found herself drawn back here once again. Overall, she couldn't tell if playing in here was easing or worsening that stress, but it felt good to let her voice out once in awhile. Good enough that she could add it to her list of reasons to join that silly idol group.

Why couldn't she just let go?

A bunch of stupid ordered tones. What was so special about that? A bunch of stupid girls who sing them. What was so special about them?

But taking a reductionist stance accomplished little, and she found her left hand beginning to play some chords.

One more time, she told herself.

" _All around me, in the air, hangs a wreath...of blackest-"_

But the song came crashing to a halt when she thought she spied someone watching through the door. Maki rubbed her eyes, but nothing appeared.

Well, that was perhaps a sign, she thought, preparing to leave again.

* * *

"...She seemed upset, and told me that she doesn't go to the music room anymore. But I went there myself before I came up, and she was playing like normal!"

Hanayo gasped, having just escaped from her spying session to the roof and blurted her entire story to Umi. It wasn't that she didn't respect Honoka and Kotori, she just felt her more grounded senior could offer much more helpful advice.

"So she shut you down at the mention of music? That's certainly going to make matters more difficult," Umi said, taking a drink. "Based on how you described your approach, I would say you need to ease her into the topic."

"But I'm really not good at directing conversations!"

"No, you're not good at improvisation, which is why we're going to plan this out."

* * *

First years received little is the way of electives, and thus Maki was rapidly become _very_ used to seeing the same faces all day, every day.

One such face shyly began inching her way over at the end of second period.

"...Um, Maki?"

"Hm?" Maki hummed, with rather more annoyance than she had intended to use.

"I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to," Hanayo looked over her shoulder as though checking for eavesdroppers, "eat lunch together...?"

Maki thought Hanayo was _sweet_ , in a word. Of course, they didn't know each other terribly well, but she saw how gentle, empathetic, kind, and surprisingly determined the ordinarily meek girl could be.

Which left her feeling like such a fool when she, without really meaning to come off negatively, murmured, "I guess."

Hanayo's downcast look told her all she needed to know.

"Like, I mean, I don't mind or anything, so by all means," Maki blurted out.

And so they began eating, with Maki wondering why Rin wasn't hovering around Hanayo that day. Oh well. She enjoyed the peace and quiet anyway.

"..."

She would be enjoying it a lot more if Hanayo didn't look like she was trying and failing to muster the courage to say something.

The shy girl found herself stricken with a sudden nervousness now that it was time to actually enact the plan; she felt badly about upsetting Maki last time in addition to the growing pressure for success. But surely idols dealt with stress like this all the time, and if that was so, then she could try to convince Maki for the sake of her dream.

"So, Maki."

The redhead gave her a curious nod which she could only assume amounted to, "yes?"

"Are you in any clubs?"

"Not currently." Then, perhaps sensing what was to come, she shot Hanayo a look the likes of which she immediately felt guilty over and exclaimed, "And before you ask, I'm NOT going to join your-"

"N-no, no, no, no, no! I w-was just curious."

Of course Hanayo wasn't going to admit that the other girl had seen right through her, and as bad as it felt, she would continue to pry.

Maki hung her head the slightest degree, "O-oh, of course. Sorry."

The pair were both acutely aware of the stares they were getting from the other students in the room. Hanayo resumed in an all-too-dramatic conspiratorial whisper, "Well, what do you like to do, then?"

They both knew. Maki's suspicions had been somewhat quelled, however, so she ended up grappling only with herself. She had always considered her other hobbies...secondary. Try as she might to imagine one of them taking over from music as her passion, and her spending her time poring over it, none of them seemed right. Where was the spark that propelled her fingers across the keys?

"I do like photography and stargazing, I guess, but I'm fairly sure we don't have clubs dedicated to them."

"Really? I guess you can't really tell what someone's going to like until you know them."

Maki turned to look out the window, "I'm not really sure how it happened myself. I guess one day I just realized how amazing it is to see that ocean of light suspended in space above us. As for photography, isn't it just...special? To be able to capture a real moment forever?"

Hanayo too, was now following the Nishikino heiress's gaze out into the sky, "When you put it that way, it really does seem amazing." She decided to seize the atmosphere of the moment for a gamble, "It's sort of like how a song is able to capture a real feeling, forever."

Maki turned to face her at that, but didn't yet act.

"That's just, I don't know, magical," Hanayo continued with increasing fervor, "that a series of...arranged tones can really connect you with another person like that."

At that, Maki actually seemed saddened, "Yeah, it is."

"Say, Maki," Hanayo whispered gently, "What was it like seeing μ's perform the song you wrote?"

"Honestly? It made part of me incredibly happy."

"So-"

"And that's what I'm afraid of."

"What do you mean, Maki?"

"I already told you; it was at my house, remember?"

Then the bell rang again, signaling the end of lunch, and Maki stood and walked away.

* * *

Today she was actually doing a rather good job of keeping herself in check.

Her beloved piano was cold and silent.

An unfortunate side effect of this was Maki wandering the halls, unwilling to go straight home so early. She wondered if she could gather enough people to start a photography club.

Probably not.

Why was she bothered by this insistent urge to hum whenever she found herself alone? This was exactly the sort of thing she was trying to escape from.

Perhaps she should invest in a camera? No, the fact that her gut feeling said it wouldn't be worth it informed her that the same creative spark simply wasn't present. She was wracked by a restless energy she no longer knew how to exorcise.

When had her feet started bringing her to the roof?

She could hear their voices seeping through the door as their practice ended.

"How have you been making out?" There was Umi.

Then Hanayo's chipper voice, "It's been pretty good actually! I think Maki is slowly warming up; she didn't stop me again yesterday."

An audible sigh, then, "Thank goodness, if we didn't get her soon I don't think we would have had the time to actually write and practice the new material in time for another live."

Maki gritted her teeth. _Stupid Hanayo!_ Still trying to rope her into this idol business, still trying to draw her back in when she finally began to get herself under control! Couldn't they respect her wishes?

As angry as she was, an equal part of it was directed at herself. Partially because she knew she would be too weak to resist at this rate, and partially for wanting to resist in the first place.

* * *

It almost the end a tense, quiet lunch, and Maki had steeled herself.

"Hanayo," she said with a sharp look, "I'll be blunt. If the reason you want to be my friend is so that I'll write songs, don't. I told when you came to return my student I.D. that my time with music was basically over, and I don't want to be used."

Hanayo stared, stunned and saddened, as Maki waited for a fleeting moment, before gathering her things and leaving.

* * *

 _Stupid, so stupid...!_

This bitter feeling was exactly what she was trying to avoid. She had been lonely and unwilling to turn Hanayo down, had even given her the benefit of the doubt.

And now she was walking the halls after school, melancholic and angry and guilty, all at once.

It wasn't her intention to be hurtful, she had simply gotten impassioned when the time came to be firm. But perhaps this was for the best. She had to focus on her studies to ensure she could eventually take over the hospital. It really was good work, she told herself, she should have been proud to have the opportunity to do so, even if that meant being alone.

So, why then, did-

"Maki!"

It was Hanayo, standing behind her.

"You made me a promise, didn't you? You said that you would support me if I wanted to become an idol."

No, no, no, Maki wasn't ready for this; she could feel the tears prickling at the corners of her eyes.

"Hanayo...! Just-" she couldn't just run from this again, but she was a loss for words, "Just...give me a few minutes, okay? I'll be in the music room."

Hanayo was frowning, but still nodded.

 _Thank God_ , Maki thought, backtracking through the halls; she didn't want to risk turning this into an even larger disaster.

The doors to the music room flew open and she, drained of the will to fight, took a seat at the piano bench, face buried in her hands. It was late afternoon and crepuscular rays were just beginning to pierce the gloom of the day and reach the school. One, then two, then three, then too many to be worth counting slowly filtered through the window and began to warm the room as she composed herself.

She was weak, as much as it pained her to admit it. In the end, she couldn't stay away from this place.

Maki found her hands beginning to play some chords.

* * *

Hanayo froze with her hand resting on the door. She had waited, but now Maki was playing; was she to wait until the other girl had finally finished? Listening for a while wouldn't be so bad, she supposed. The graceful, measured playing was distinctly _Maki_ , and was that which she had grown accustomed to over many days waiting where she was now.

Actually, she had spent far too long on the outside, she decided; it was time to experience this firsthand for once.

She slid open the door, and it was like stepping through the looking glass. The music, formerly muffled, was now rich and colourful, cascading around her. As for the musician, she spared Hanayo only the briefest glance, but began to play harder. It was a simple, melancholic, wistful song, but the arrangement was skillful, and the melodies engaging despite the bleakness. Maki had begun to hum now, adding another layer as she began to take glances over at her observer, trying not to lose focus.

And in a moment, it became clear to Hanayo that her standoffish classmate had a few wounds of her own. That was fine, she was willing help.

Maki took a deep breath, and began to sing in a drained voice, unusually high and delicate.

" _And this hasn't been easy on you._ "

Suddenly, they weren't in the music room. To Hanayo, it was just her, Maki, and the raw expression filling the air. The pianist began to glance shyly at her as lines of quick, dazzling arpeggios entered the chorus and supported her words.

" _I know that more than most!"_

When it had happened, she couldn't say, but Hanayo found that she was crossing the room, and had nearly reached the side of the other girl.

What was the cause of-?

Suddenly she remembered, and it was so obvious that she wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. Though clearly passionate about music, Hanayo remember that her birthright had practically ensured her no future in it. It didn't explain everything, but watching the Nishikino heiress pound out her sorrows on the keys, she thought it was a strong contender for the root of her problems.

" _But I was born to be alone-_ "

"That's not true!"

Maki felt something warm pressing against her back, and the last vestiges of the song trailed off in a slow arpeggio.

"If you're fine with someone like m-me, then I'll stay by your side! And even of you never join, I'm sure the other members of μ's would be glad to be your friends."

For a long while they stayed like that, Hanayo hugging Maki, while the latter glacially began to relax and lean against the other girl.

"So please Maki, just let me in."

"Let you in?"

"I want to know why you've been so..." she wanted to word this gently, now that she was finally making progress once more, "standoffish."

Maki sighed, no longer caring about appearances and unconsciously pulled her now-friend's arms a little tighter around herself. It was now far too late to try and hide, to retreat into herself.

"Have you ever had an addiction? A crutch you just had to return to?" She turned to face Hanayo, "To break it, you have to wean yourself off. That's what it's been like with my music. Remember when I told you that I would have to take over the hospital?"

Yes, Hanayo remembered, and was beginning to make the connection, "...You said that you wouldn't have time for music once you began."

"And likely not during university either, if I'm to pull through medical school with exemplary marks." Again, she reminded herself of how many would kill to be in her position, but that did little to lessen the ache. "So even if I wanted to pursue it, even if that's what my passion is, I simply can't. That's why I'm trying to wean myself off."

It was starting to become difficult to keep her voice steady, and her hands were already shaking.

"I'm so, so sorry for treating you so goddamn badly! I just-" her voice broke, "I just didn't want to get involved with you, or μ's or anything that would remind me and make this any harder!"

And they stayed like that, close, for a moment which felt like many. At long last, and after much contemplation, Hanayo finally responded, "Well...Maki, you know what they say about having loved and lost, don't you?"

Maki remained silent.

"If you know you won't be able to later, isn't that all the more reason to do something you'll remember forever now? Sorry if I can't see it your way, but I don't understand why you would make yourself miserable now just so that you'll be used to it for later!"

That got the pianist's attention, and she sat at attention as though electrified.

"Please, Maki, take a chance on happiness and let the future stay in the future! You told me that you'd support my dream of being an idol however you could."

The two, now, were searching each other's eyes as the tension in the room grew to a fever pitch.

"So I want you to support me by staying by my side!"

Those were the reasons that Maki herself had been searching for, and now, though she still appeared on the verge of tears, she was also smiling.

"Well Hanayo, I suppose it can't be helped."

* * *

"Hanayo, did you-" Umi fell silent as the girl stepped out onto the roof, this time not alone. The other members of μ's, too, had begun to stare. Beside Hanayo stood the reason for this, twirling her hair about her fingers and doing an exceedingly poor job of masking her happiness.

"After much thought," she and the timid girl exchanged a look, "I've...reconsidered your offer. Um, if you're still interested in taking me, that is."

Honoka started babbling about ideas for new songs while Umi went to fetch her lyric notebook. Hanayo pushed Maki forward, and just like that, she was a member of μ's.

* * *

 **More A/N: The next chapter will be about Nico and Nozomi.**


	2. Stones

Nico opened the door to the club room. Was it strange, she wondered, to be saddened by the emptiness, yet at the same time, at home within it?

Scant light washed in through the blinds, promptly being joined by that of the computer as she prepared for a new day's research. If she couldn't be an idol herself, then she supposed getting some vicarious joy via building idol expertise was the next best thing.

But those stupid amateurs had been turning that joy sour in her gut as of late. Clearly it was too much to ask to find a blog or source that both covered even the most marginally underground groups, yet wasn't _also_ salivating over, " _the rise of the hot new school idol group, μ's_ ". For each headline she felt a twinge, and though she told herself it wasn't bitterness and jealousy, she was still loath to endure it.

Who did they think they were?

They needed better coordination and sharper moves. They needed firmer smiles, even during the most strenuous parts. They needed a better group dynamic and personas to help each member stand out in their own way.

They were a disgrace! How could they call themselves _idols_ if they were more easily looked down upon than up to?

How could they make it when she couldn't?

The leader of the idol research club sighed bitterly and powered down the computer.

It was going to be a long day; if she didn't keep the club open and "active", however, then she would be shut down for being a waste of funds allocated for clubs.

Thinking it better to be at least somewhat productive, she stood and began cleaning up the clutter in her collection of paraphernalia and idol content. Of course, that could last only so long, so next was to work on her skills. Despite the small part of her that burned with jealousy whenever she saw them perform, she wasn't so petty as to trivialize the skills of A-Rise; she was intimately familiar with the dance steps of _Private Wars_.

"1-2-3-4, 1-2-3-4"

As much as she would have liked to play it cool and say she could manage it without breaking a sweat, she definitely began to feel it as she went back, time after time, redoing, correcting, improving. But it felt good. She could convince herself on some level that when she practiced like this, that she was making progress, steadily moving towards idoldom.

Next were vocal exercises; sure, some idols got by on aura and personality alone, but hell would freeze over before she would disgrace the craft like that. Nico cleared her throat and began doing scales, making sure to push to the far ends of her vocal register. She scowled, ending on her lowest note; voices were coming from outside. Crossing the room and throwing aside the curtains, she found that she had left the window open behind them. She could hear a song drifting down from the roof.

 _They_ were practicing again, at the same time as her, no less, and now she had that stupid song: _START:DASH_ , running through her head.

The window slammed shut, the curtains were drawn, and the room of the idol research club was dark and quiet once more.

She knew another suitable song. Not long ago she had heard a beautiful, sad, melody flowing from the music room. Curious, she covertly watched and saw two first years, the newest members of μ's, having some sort of emotional reconciliation. The bespectacled girl stood as enamored as Nico found herself. Playing, the redhead hummed along in haunting accompaniment.

But Nico had caught herself after another moment, pulling away and leaving the two.

That was song she now found tumbling from her lips in sweet, wordless notes. It came naturally; she didn't strain to remember what was coming, despite her limited exposure to it.

For an instant, she almost felt that she, alone, had recreated that magical atmosphere.

"Nicocchi?"

Nico trailed off. Nozomi was standing in the open doorway's crack of light, staring at her.

"Why are you interrupting me?"

"Well, I saw that the lights were out, so I came to see if the place was empty. The student council will have to shut down the Idol Research Club if it's not open often enough to justify funding and the allocation of a club room, you know."

"Yeah, yeah. I know," Nico grumbled, slumping into a chair, her mood thoroughly ruined.

"And I was worried that the our Nico had fallen ill!" Nozomi exclaimed, with one hand over her heart and the other fanning herself in faux-faintness. The other girl simply scowled at her. "Anyway, I _did_ hear your singing once I was close. I guess I just didn't expect to find you here, in the dark...alone."

Her amiable tone had flattened only slightly, but Nico found her classmate staring sadly at her by the end of the statement. She didn't need pity!

"Are you done bothering me yet? I'm trying to conduct club activities here."

"And as the student council Vice President, I'm quite qualified to advise you on all things club related."

"I don't-"

Not letting her get any headway, Nozomi immediately continued, "Have you ever considered merging with another club? Think of it; if you found one with...similar enough interests, the extra members would grant you better priority for booking events and more funding for," she glanced at the wall of idol merchandise, "whatever it is you need."

The, " _and you wouldn't have to be alone anymore_ ," went unsaid, important as it was.

Nico furrowed her brow; the suggestion seemed to have come out of the blue, and while it wasn't bad, it didn't strike her as particularly essential either.

"Are you working some sort of angle here, Nozomi?"

But the spiritually inclined girl just responded with an impenetrable smile, "Sometimes I just wanna be helpful, is that so strange? Anyway, I really should be going back to the council room." But then she cast her eyes to the floor in an act of uncharacteristic shyness and quickly added, "You have a beautiful singing voice, by the way."

She was long gone when Nico finished processing all her final remarks.

"Thanks, Nozomi."

* * *

"Something wrong, Nozomi?" Eli had stopped going through the club requests and was looking at her.

"Just wishing that I could get all my homework out of the way early, for once." Of course, in reality she was contemplating how to coerce Nico into joining μ's.

Fate worked in mysterious ways, as she had learned from years of interpreting tarot card predictions. She didn't know exactly what would happen if she could complete μ's with nine members, but she strongly suspected that it had to do with their mutual desire to save the school. With the student council indisposed on the chairwoman's orders, she thought this was her best bet for the time being.

"We're almost done, then we can power through the homework together, if you want," Eli offered with a smile.

"Oh, I'd never turn down _private lessons_ from Elicchi."

"N-Nozomi!"

She didn't want to ruin the good mood by letting slip her actual thoughts, so a white lie was fine too, she supposed. Eli was still opposed to μ's; she and Nico were the most stubborn among the potential members. For this reason, Nozomi knew she would have to soften Nico up before convincing her.

* * *

 _This disguise is too hot._

The more logical part of her mind was telling her what a poor idea this was. She had stalked the group of girls across town, to their practice site. Watching them secretly from the safety of the shrine, Nico quietly indulged her spite.

What was the point of such irredeemable amateurs working so hard? It wasn't as though they had any real potential to build on.

For the time being, the bitter part of her consumed that which was disappointed with her behavior. After a moment, it had taken hold in her and propelled her body away from the shrine and around the far side of the building it stood beside. She peered around the corner; they were still practicing hard, unaware of her. "Hard work alone isn't enough!" she wanted to scream; she had discovered that first hand.

"Honoka, did you see someone over there?"

Perhaps they weren't as unaware of her as she had thought.

"... _Right_ there, around the corner."

There were muted footsteps approaching her, no doubt those of that idiot leader. Nico, restraining panic, rapidly looked for an escape.

She was certain that she wouldn't be able to run and round the opposite corner before the blue eyed girl arrived, and there were no convenient hiding spots around. This was the back of the building so the doors would likely be locked, too. What to do? Pulling at her coat in frustration, she made a snap decision.

With a swift motion of the leg, she sent Honoka falling to the pavement, much to her immediate regret. Not only had it looked painful, but it had also all but destroyed any chance for-

What, exactly?

Was she to calmly convince them that they would fail? Did she really think that she had come here for any reason other than to feed that bitter jealousy?

"You...you had better disband!"

That hadn't made her feel any better. She knew, even as she retreated back to the shrine in a rush, that this was unhealthy.

She slumped against a pillar, discreetly watching them wrap up as she stripped off her overcoat. " _Just look away,"_ she told herself to no avail. If anything, she was feeling worse now than before. A bit of guilt mingled with more than a little embarrassment and that unpleasant, biting feeling she got whenever she had to look at those _stupid_ , smiling faces. The last of the three was that which dredged up images of her first year and asked, " _why couldn't_ _ **that**_ _Nico make it? She put everything she had into it._ "

Eventually, the girls left. Nico buried her face in her palms. She was alone again.

After a few moments, she heard a sweeping and was roused. She could see the back of a certain purple-haired _someone_ in another part of the shrine, cleaning up. Oh, of course, Nozomi worked as shrine maiden here. It occurred to her that she had never actually come here and seen her classmate, despite that lingering knowledge.

Nico began crossing towards her. Come to think of it, weren't there places in a shrine she wasn't supposed to be in? Oh well. She needed to talk with someone right now and take her mind off things.

The two of them were more acquaintances than anything, but she was still feeling rather warm to the shrine maiden in light of her compliments during their last conversation. Before Nico could get close enough to engage her first, Nozomi looked back and spotted her.

"Oh my, I'm gonna get scared if you approach me with a frown like that, Nicocchi," she said, with a cocked eyebrow.

Come to think of it, who gave cutesy nicknames to people they were hardly friends with? Nico shook her head; she was here _get rid of_ the frown, not that she would admit to something like that.

Nozomi was still staring at her, a smile tugging at her lips.

"Listen, I know I would make a great partner-in-crime since I work here, but I'm not gonna help you spy on μ's."

Nico sputtered, "I was _**not**_ spying on them!"

"What's got you in such a bad mood then?"

Nico bit her lip; if she had been seen watching them it would seem ridiculous to deny their involvement entirely. At the same time, she certainly didn't want to come out and admit to something like that. Then again, Nozomi had probably already realized that she was trying to think of an excuse due to her extended silence. Really, she decided, trying to lie outright wouldn't do any good.

"Ok, fine. I _**was**_ watching them, but why wouldn't I, leader of the Idol Research Club, be interested in seeing our school's own idols?"

"Were they so bad it was upsetting to watch, then?"

She was actually getting a little bit close with that. But Nico wasn't about to spill her guts to Nozomi, of all people; she could do without the inevitable ribbing that would follow.

"...Something like that, yeah."

Strangely, there was no irritatingly knowing smile in response, nor was there a giggle at her expense, or a teasing remark. Instead, Nozomi looked at her with that oddly serious look for the second time.

"You could teach them, then."

"What? Where's this coming from, all of the sudden?" Nico retorted, still on guard.

"For all their dedication, they still need someone to help them improve."

"I'm not interested in teaming up with them."

She had thought that talking to Nozomi would help her to get her mind off of them, but that clearly wasn't turning out to be the case, and she was just about ready to end the conversation.

"It could be your second chance as a school idol!"

Now that caught the red eyed girl off guard. She wasn't ready to face her deeper desires like that, and to even think that Nozomi knew, and remembered that absolutely humiliating failure...

"S-so what if didn't make it back then? Joining that band of unprofessional morons isn't gonna do me any good! If my last group couldn't keep up, then I'll just make it on my own, I don't need anyone else!"

Again, Nozomi didn't seem surprised or taken aback, just saddened.

"Nicocchi..."

Nico turned and marched away.

* * *

Nozomi was also following them today.

The cards, combined with a little detective work of her own had revealed to her that μ's was going out to eat, unknowingly taking Nico with them. She watched them round a corner up ahead, and she was sure her classmate was nearby too, even if she hadn't revealed herself yet.

The shrine maiden stopped across the street from the fast-food chain and watched the aspiring idol group take the stairs up. At least the rain had let up enough that staking out wouldn't be a pain. Several minutes later, a poorly disguised Nico came slinking from some undiscovered corner and followed them.

Now, how to convince her to ease up on them?

Well, her stalking and fighting with them certainly wasn't doing any good, Nozomi thought. At least not in an uncontrolled environment like this one. Perhaps after this she would work from the side of μ's as well, so that they might be able to convince their stubborn upperclassmen.

After what Nozomi felt was the right amount of waiting, she followed the others inside. Sure enough, Nico was eavesdropping, ear pressed to the divider between her table and theirs.

"That's right! I forgot, we _**can**_ form a club now that we have six people!" Honoka exclaimed.

"How the hell can you just forget something that important?!" Nico shouted over the divider, apparently unable to contain herself.

 _And it looks like she's about to blow her cover._

"Who was that?"

Nozomi approached her classmate with a too-wide smile, "Ah, excuse me _ma'am_ , but would you care to step outside with me for a moment?"

Nico spun, looking just about ready to tell someone off before seeing who it was. Then, sensing the frailty of her cover as Honoka moved to look over the divider, sputtered, "Oh, erm, of course, yeah."

She had one foot out the door, with Nozomi right behind her when Honoka spied them.

"Hi Nozomi!"

"Afternoon, girls!" the shrine maiden replied with a wave as she ushered Nico down the stairs.

The pair stopped just down the street, one catching her breath and the other watching the looming clouds.

"Nice stealth there," Nozomi said, eyeing up Nico's disguise with a smirk, "Miss Bond."

" _Sorry_. I guess I'm just too weak to handle that lax idiot's blabbering."

"And what would you have done if you were strong? What was the genius plan there?"

On a base level, it was just to harass them, really. But the question still gave the smaller girl pause; what did she actually want to accomplish?

"Well, I was..."

Of course she didn't really expect to break them up with petty insults. She already knew the reason on some level or another, she just didn't want to admit it for pride's sake.

Nozomi was looking at her expectantly, and with preemptive disappointment.

 _And I would be too, were I about to watch myself try to say this._

Because she was just jealous. Bitter and angry and jealous, and unable to hold herself back when she saw them succeeding where she had failed. She stared at her shoes, brow heavy with shame, unwilling to look Nozomi in the eye.

"I...I j-just-"

"It's hard, isn't it Nicocchi?"

Nico looked up to find Nozomi with eyes now downcast.

"Being honest, that is," she amended. "I know a girl who has trouble being honest with herself," then the shrine maiden finally found the strength to look up once more, "and let's just say that I'm _extremely_ familiar with one who has trouble being honest with others."

The smaller girl stared, entirely unprepared for this new Nozomi. For once, there was no joking or trading remarks between them, and the shrine maiden was gazing at her with a faraway expression, as though watching a familiar scene play out overtop of theirs.

Then the sounds of chattering and laughter came from behind them; the member of μ's were returning. Loath as she was to lose the moment, Nico muttered a goodbye and an apology before leaving her classmate to them.

* * *

Eli stared Honoka down.

"The idol research club?"

"Yes, it only has one member, though," Nozomi added.

"But don't you need five for a club?"

"To _form_ one, yes, but there's no rule on how many members are needed to keep it alive."

Eli cleared her throat to redirect the conversation.

"In any case, there's a limited number of students, and a very limited amount of funding, so we're trying to prevent the creation of superfluous clubs. As long as another idol-centric clubs exists, we can't authorize you."

"But-"

"This decision is final."

"However..." Nozomi piped up from beside the president, "if you really want to continue, you could try getting in touch with the president of the idol research club."

"Nozomi!" Eli hissed.

"What?" the shrine maiden replied in a faux-innocent voice, "There shouldn't be any problem with the merging of two clubs, right?"

The blonde simply shook her head as the members of μ's were provided with the relevant papers and information, then shuffled out the door.

"Why did you have to do that, Nozomi?"

The girl in question had gone to watch the leaving students and falling leaves by the window, as she often did.

"Elicchi, we're the student council. We're supposed to regulate the student body and ensure that everyone gets the most from their time at Otonokizaka. If we refuse to help them, or even get in the way when they're trying their hardest, are we really doing our jobs?"

Eli smiled faintly at that; it was unusual, yet welcome, to see this more mature side of Nozomi.

"Sometimes people need to be let down gently before they cause harm, Nozomi."

The vice-president turned from the window to look back at her partner.

"But I know they won't, Eli. It's not in the cards for them to."

* * *

She wanted to scream in frustration.

Some part of Nico, for the longest time, had thought of her club room as her sanctuary. She wouldn't abide by pests and intruders, she told herself. Yet they were here now, fawning over her collection, poking, prodding, investigating, testing her patience. Rancor was burning in her throat; she longed for them to just vanish, or even to do so herself.

"We want to merge-"

"Absolutely not!"

Why did they have to approach her with this humiliating proposal as well? Wasn't walking over the broken pieces of her aspiration enough?

"You don't have to disband or anything. We just need a space to practice sometimes."

"You just want to use my room right under my nose while I watch you take all the glory! And just look at you!" Nico shouted, her clenched fists trembling, "You're amateurs, disgraces to the title of ' _idol_ '! Why would I sacrifice _my_ space to support a group too stupid to even make idol personae?"

How could she support a group that reminded her of what she had so longed to, and failed at, becoming?

"Now get out!"

* * *

"She was really mad at us, Nozomi! I thought you said she was gonna come around!"

The girl in question put her hands on Honoka's shoulders, "She will. I think she just needs a little push."

"What do you mean?"

Nozomi looked around at the school idols and simply replied, "Girls, follow me."

* * *

" _And what would you have done if you were strong?_ "

Nico was resting her head in her hands, Nozomi's words echoing through it. That was supposed to be it; she had told herself that this bad blood was only doing her harm, that she would apologize to μ's when next she saw them.

But she had been too weak, and now she found herself sitting alone in the darkness of the club room again.

The computer was sitting in standby, neglected, and she couldn't bring herself to plunge into practice just yet.

Suddenly, the emptiness of the room was no longer familiar to her; she was but a mote of dust in its cold, unwelcoming expanse.

She had drawn the curtains even tighter than usual, wanting to avoid seeing the buzzing crowds and leaving only the phantom glow which could penetrate through. The dark had bled all the vibrance from her wall of memorabilia, and Nico, likewise, was cast in gray. Usually she alone could keep the room bustling, but now the silence reigned, broken only by her faint shifting and sighs. After of a few minutes, the sound of her nails trailing across the table joined them.

Hell, who was she kidding? Nozomi was right, she thought; being honest was difficult, inwardly and outwardly. Nico hadn't been able to tell μ's she wanted to join because she had refused to admit it to herself. For each piece of acrimony she had spit at them, she found twice that building in her chest, choking her. Now, swallowing her ego to and apologizing had proven too much, let alone explaining her humiliating personal failures and desire to join the people she had done so much to alienate. To know that she was her own saboteur made the string of failure so, so much more painful.

"I really did blow my second chance, huh?"

It was so clear, so simple to see now that choking out a few sentences could have fixed things that it made her want to laugh, even as her eyes prickled with tears.

Nico stood slowly, looking out over the room, the thick layer of dust on all the other chairs, the austerity of everything unused. Even if it was just one person, the Idol Research Club was still ostensibly in session, she supposed.

She didn't have the energy to dance at the moment, so vocals it was. First, scales, like always. There was the barest waver in her voice, and she tried not to interrupt the notes with her sniffling. Perhaps this empty room needn't be her companion for the day; she could fill it with her voice. So she sang.

" _All the stones I've thrown, they come back twice as strong."_

She hated how soft her voice was, but it was all she could manage for the moment.

" _And all the stones you've thrown, they come from your highest throne._ "

If Nico closed her eyes, she could almost convince herself that she was in the music room, creating the same moment she had seen not long ago.

Of course, she was still alone in her room, painful as it was to see.

" _Pass them on to me below, they remind me that nothing lasts._ "

Her voice had wavered there, and she was trembling ever so slightly. No longer did she mentally berate herself over the mistake; she was almost beginning to wonder if she had a future that justified fretting over it.

" _Nothing..._ "

A moment passed.

"Nicocchi?"

Nico trailed off. Nozomi was standing in the open doorway's crack of light, staring at her.

"I guess I must be interrupting you again, sorry," she continued delicately, trying not to break the mood.

The smaller girl turned away, sitting on the edge of the table and muttering, "It's fine."

Nozomi took a step closer, noting the icy behavior.

"Nicocchi?" she asked softly.

Nico simply stared out, looking drained.

"Nico, what's wrong?"

"You were right, you know. You were right about being honest."

In an instant, Nozomi understood what was happening. Feeling the tension between them settling, she closed the distance and sat beside Nico.

"Let me tell you a story," the shrine maiden took a deep breath, looking off and putting together the words. "A girl, one I know very well, had grown up in a difficult situation. Her parents' work meant that she never stayed in one place for long; a different home and a different school after no more than a year each time. After much of this, the girl began to lie to fit in; she was content to be quickly and shallowly acquainted so it wouldn't hurt when she had to leave. Eventually she was able to move out and start over for the final time. At that high school, she met another liar, a girl who told herself that she was content to be alone, that she would never need help. She felt a kinship with that other girl, and after much trying, realized that she wouldn't be drawn out of her shell if there was no commitment."

Nico was watching her closely now, piecing together the message.

"In the end, all it took was some honesty to bring them together, and they've been precious to each other since."

"I see. Well, I'm glad it worked out for them."

Nico's expression hadn't changed.

"But it's too late for me."

"Nico?"

"I said it's too late! Can't you see?" Nico shouted, holding back tears once more, "I already ruined it! I just wanted a second chance, but by the time I admitted to myself that I wanted to join them, I already made them hate me! I fucked it all up, Nozomi. It's over."

The taller girl simply hushed her and intertwined her fingers with Nico's own, letting the moment hang as she ran her thumb gently over the back of her hand. It was, strangely enough, an almost motherly gesture, Nico thought as her breathing slowed again.

"You give yourself too much credit, Nico; it's not too late _just_ yet," Nozomi said with a ghost of a smile.

"And how do you know?" Nico spat, feeling that this was neither the time nor the place for the mysterious act.

"Girls!"

Nico sat there, dumbfounded, as the door to her club room swung open fully to reveal μ's.

"Y-you've been there the whole time?" she sputtered.

Umi marched up and bowed saying, "We apologize for eavesdropping, and for any bad blood between us-"

"And we want you to teach us!" Honoka exclaimed.

"You...you really want _me_ to join?" Nico asked, feeling now that she might cry for a completely different reason. Then she looked to Nozomi, "And you, you went to the trouble of arranging this for me?"

Nozomi laughed and squeezed her hand as though she had asked the silliest question in the world, "Of course a friend is worth the trouble!"

"Well, I accept your offer. But you'd better be damn sure that I'll hold this group to _Nico_ -high standards!"

Nico looked at Nozomi and the members of μ's, laughing together and smiling at her.

Her room was finally full.

 _A friend, huh?_

That sounded pretty nice, she thought.

* * *

 **A/N: Nico/Nozomi is a dynamic I wish had gotten more exploration outside of jokes in the anime. The way the two of them in particular ended up crying and hugging when the first and second years revealed that** **μ's wouldn't continue stuck out, and that, along with Nozomi implying that she had been watching Nico throughout her first two years, and understood her well suggested to me that they do have somewhat of a deeper friendship than we actually got to see.**

 **These two chapters are all I have planned, but looking at the story now, it could potentially be expanded into something of an alternate origin story for μ's, with the members joining in new ways. At this point however, that remains as a simple possibility, since I'm not sure who I want, what I want them to sing, and who I want to convince them. That would also create the problem of having to start telling it out of chronological order, as I already skipped over the second years and Rin.**


End file.
